Monday, June 20, 2005

Settings for your body

If you have ever used a large program like Microsoft Word, you are familiar with the dozens of settings available in the Options dialog. They let you customize and tune the program to your specific needs:


One pane of Word's Options dialog

I was walking with a couple of friends recently, and we were talking about how nice it would be if our bodies came with options screens. Some of the options we discussed included:Do you have other settings you would like to be able to manipulate? Put them in the comments....

Comments:
Slider for breast-size: A- to D+++
 
Option to selectively erase certain memories
 
Options to:

- adapt penis size to the girl you're banging at that particular time

- tell your body to always produce solid and smooth turds, no matter how much crap you have stuffed down your face

- increase fatburning locally

- fart on command, because farting is funny

- autofocus vision

- regulate moods
 
When you look at the way the human body works by default, its entire philosophy is tuned to scarcity. Why do muscles atrophy if unused? Because muscle tissue burns calories. If you are not using the muscles every day the body discards the muscle tissue in order to save energy.

Now that we live in a time of plenty, this default behavior is useless.
 
Hair color - slider lets you change hair pigmentation from blond to brunett to redhead. Why not green, blue and purple too?
 
Maximum fat storage slider. Lets you control the maximum poundage of fat your body stores. You could set it to 3 pounds and after that your body does not store any more fat.
 
> I am happy with the
> way that my body functions.

You LIKE cold feet in the winter????????
 
Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan is set in a future where all humans are genetically tuned, specificly the military models.
 
Sex drive off/on selector.

That way I can focus on my work instead of the hottie I'm working with.
 
A Check box that turns hair growth on and off. So if you get a haircut and love the look, you can make your hair stop growing and preserve that cut indefinitely.
 
- A slide bar to lower my cravings for alcohol, cigrettes, sex, and barbeque-chicken.

- An option to increase concentration and wipe out attention deficeit disorder.
 
What about controlling the options screen on another person. Example: turn down the bitchiness slider on my girlfriend, or increase lubrication. Or can only the body's owner control the options?
 
Control over your own fertility. For males, you can turn sperm on and off. If you do not want the girl to get pregnant, you turn off the sperm.
 
Given the mental competence of the presumed 'average' user, I would predict death less than two months from initiation of such a 'convenience'. The little 'annoyances' of life you cite are functional components of the body's danger warning systems -- turn them off and you die. -- blzbob
 
Sex drive off/on selector.

That way I can focus on my work instead of the hottie I'm working with.


yeah, it is important option!!!!!
 
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