Marshall Brain's Blog

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Warning Labels

It is now possible to find warning labels on almost everything we own. For example, on plastic bags, buckets and ovens:

      

On the bunk bed:



Even on plastic model car kits:



This makes you wonder why cars have so few warning labels. In my car, there is not a single visible warning sticker. Imagine if there were...

• Warning! driving car into large body of water may void manufacturer's warrantee. Drowning may result.
  
• Warning! Failure to reduce speed as approaching immovable objects may result in fatality of driver and passengers.
  
• Warning! Exceeding posted speed limit may lead to detainment or arrest.
  
• Warning! Driving on unpaved surfaces may cause vibration.
  
• Warning! Large herbivorous mammals may leap into path of vehicle at any time.
  
• Warning! Eye closure during vehicular operation may result in unsafe driving modalities.
  
• Warning! Driving over feet may cause severe orthopedic injury.
  
• Warning! Slamming fingers in door may be harmful or painful.
  
• And so on... The list is nearly infinite

On the sunroof, there would have to be these:

• Warning! Closing sunroof with head extended may lead to decapitation.
  
• Warning! Failure to close sunroof during inclement weather may cause dampness in passenger compartment.
  
• Warning! Extending head while vehicle in motion may lead to bugs and debris in eyes, nose and mouth.
  
• Warning! Ejecting passengers through sunroof is prohibited!

The number of possible warning labels around the gas cap is mind-boggling...

Keep in mind that if you drive 10,000 miles per year, your chances of dying in a car accident are 1 in 6,000 or so. More than 100 people die every day in the U.S. in car wrecks. Nothing is more dangerous to consumers than a car. If every part of every car were stickered as carefully as most consumer products, you would not be able to see the dashboard or find the steering wheel. That may be why car manufacturers are off the hook...