Marshall Brain's Blog

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New zero-calorie snacks

I used some Pam cooking spray the other day to bake a cake for Irena. I happened to notice the "Nutrition facts" panel, and it is extremely interesting. It looks like this:



What's interesting about it is the fact that the folks at Pam Headquarters have found a way to make calories disappear.

Look at the ingredient label. The first ingredient is canola oil, and the second is grain alcohol. The can contains 6 ounces (170 grams). At a minimum, that means that 3 ounces (85 grams) of the can's contents should be oil and alcohol. Oil contains 9 calories per gram and alcohol contains 7 calories per gram [ref]. Taking the average -- 8 calories per gram -- it seems that there should be at least 8 * 85 = 680 calories in the can. Yet, on a per-serving basis, there are zero calories. The 680 calories vanish when you use the product.

What this means is that, simply by subdividing any snack food, we can eliminate all the calories. For example, a normal Snickers candy bar weighs 2.07 ounces (58.7 grams) and contains 280 calories. That's because a normal snickers bar contains only one serving. If the Snickers bar is re-labeled as having 400 servings (each serving approximately 3 x 3 x 3 mm), each serving would have zero calories and we could eat a Snickers bar without gaining any weight. These new zero-calorie snacks should revolutionize the industry. And at any meal you can control your caloric intake by taking very small bites. Using Pam technology, you can now indulge in that big piece of chocolate cake at a restaurant. Simply take 500 nibbles of it...