Monday, June 20, 2005
Settings for your body
If you have ever used a large program like Microsoft Word, you are familiar with the dozens of settings available in the Options dialog. They let you customize and tune the program to your specific needs:
One pane of Word's Options dialog
I was walking with a couple of friends recently, and we were talking about how nice it would be if our bodies came with options screens. Some of the options we discussed included:
One pane of Word's Options dialog
I was walking with a couple of friends recently, and we were talking about how nice it would be if our bodies came with options screens. Some of the options we discussed included:
- Ears on/off - lets you cut off all input through your ears so you get a good night's sleep no matter how loud the neighbors are.
- Do not let muscles atrophy - The default setting for the human body allows muscles to atrophy if you do not use them every day. This is why you have to constantly lift weights to keep your muscles toned. By changing the default setting, your body would not allow atrophy to take place.
- Raise/lower metabolism - when set to its maximum setting, this option would cause your body to burn as many calories as possible throughout the day.
- Pain on/off - Would let you selectively turn off pain in certain parts of your body (e.g. a headache), or turn off all pain.
- Hunger on/off - Would let you cancel hunger signals from the stomach, so you would never feel hungry and would therefore eat less.
- Warm hands/feet - would cause your body to burn extra calories to keep hands and feet toasty warm in winter.
Comments:
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Options to:
- adapt penis size to the girl you're banging at that particular time
- tell your body to always produce solid and smooth turds, no matter how much crap you have stuffed down your face
- increase fatburning locally
- fart on command, because farting is funny
- autofocus vision
- regulate moods
- adapt penis size to the girl you're banging at that particular time
- tell your body to always produce solid and smooth turds, no matter how much crap you have stuffed down your face
- increase fatburning locally
- fart on command, because farting is funny
- autofocus vision
- regulate moods
When you look at the way the human body works by default, its entire philosophy is tuned to scarcity. Why do muscles atrophy if unused? Because muscle tissue burns calories. If you are not using the muscles every day the body discards the muscle tissue in order to save energy.
Now that we live in a time of plenty, this default behavior is useless.
Now that we live in a time of plenty, this default behavior is useless.
Hair color - slider lets you change hair pigmentation from blond to brunett to redhead. Why not green, blue and purple too?
Maximum fat storage slider. Lets you control the maximum poundage of fat your body stores. You could set it to 3 pounds and after that your body does not store any more fat.
Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan is set in a future where all humans are genetically tuned, specificly the military models.
A Check box that turns hair growth on and off. So if you get a haircut and love the look, you can make your hair stop growing and preserve that cut indefinitely.
- A slide bar to lower my cravings for alcohol, cigrettes, sex, and barbeque-chicken.
- An option to increase concentration and wipe out attention deficeit disorder.
- An option to increase concentration and wipe out attention deficeit disorder.
What about controlling the options screen on another person. Example: turn down the bitchiness slider on my girlfriend, or increase lubrication. Or can only the body's owner control the options?
Control over your own fertility. For males, you can turn sperm on and off. If you do not want the girl to get pregnant, you turn off the sperm.
Given the mental competence of the presumed 'average' user, I would predict death less than two months from initiation of such a 'convenience'. The little 'annoyances' of life you cite are functional components of the body's danger warning systems -- turn them off and you die. -- blzbob
Sex drive off/on selector.
That way I can focus on my work instead of the hottie I'm working with.
yeah, it is important option!!!!!
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That way I can focus on my work instead of the hottie I'm working with.
yeah, it is important option!!!!!
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